Wake of Vultures (The Shadow - Book 1) by Lila Bowen - Book Review

I have been following Delilah Dawson on Twitter (@DelilahSDawson) for a long time, and yet I had never read any of her books. As such, I was terrified to pick up Wake of Vultures by Lila Bowen (pseudonym for Delilah Dawson). Terrified, and it's all André the Giant's fault. Let me explain.

When I was a child, I loved wrestling (back when the WWE was the WWF, and wrestling was all about crazy make-up, over-the-top (and somewhat offensive) themes, and managers helping with the occasional chair thrown into the ring). Yeah, it was just a stage show, but I ate it up.


Half of my family had moved out of state when I was a babe. We took many trips to visit them. On one of these visits, little Doug was walking through the airport holding onto daddy's hand, and who is sitting but a few feet away? André the Giant. I had to hold back my inner Butabi. I was young, awkward, shy, there was no way I would be going over unassisted by a grown-up to say anything to the man.


But my dad knew my love of the big men "beating" on each other for sport. He took my little hand and prepared to walk me over to ask for an autograph. Someone got there first, a guy older than me (I was just a little thing) but not ADULT ADULT aged, and Mr. The Giant FLIPPED THE F**K OUT on the dude. I can understand as an adult now that there's some hassle to fame, and chances are that wasn't the first person to "bother" him as he wait for his flight. Maybe not the second, or third, or fourth. But little me just couldn't understand. DEVASTATED.

Never meet your heroes? Someone said that.

As I said in the beginning, I have been following Lila/Delilah on Twitter for some time. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned on here before I'm writing. Currently approximately 90,000 words into a projected 130,000 word novel, and Ms. Dawson has been (and continues to be) incredibly helpful with writing advice. She constantly tweets out stories of her own struggles in the process, tips and tricks, query advice, even advice on quasi-related things like self care, etc. etc. etc. etc.

So, why was I terrified to pick up one of her books? It's meeting your hero. What if it's bad? What does that say about all the advice I'd been absorbing into my own processes for so long? What if...?

Well...

Chapter One alone gave me cause to rethink my novel opener. Wake of Vultures was captivating from the get-go and was unrelenting from there. It's an Old West full of a fascinating take on various cryptids and those who hunt them.

It's a book of monsters and also a book of hart (see what I did there? No? The Hart Foundation? Brett the Hitman? Leave me alone.)  But seriously, there're some real feels in here.

You will not be disappointed.


I give it... This picture. I don't know who made it, but... OH YEAH!

Mice and Mystics - Board Game Review

I was a bit of a what you might call a "late bloomer" when it came to my geek cred. My youth was primarily spent playing video games (when I wasn't doing actual outdoors-y type things... Outdoors? Really?). It wasn't until only recently that I first played some Dungeons & Dragons. I was instantly hooked. Now, Dungeons & Dragons is fantastic, but the problem is you need a pretty sizable group to play. Let's face it, without a DM and at least three others, the game isn't going to far (this is in my experience. Not to say you couldn't play with three). My D&D group only meets monthly (if that) and there are just some times that I need a fix. That's where Mice and Mystics comes in. Mice and Mystics is a cooperative board game that is almost like D&D Lite.


What makes this like a lite version of D&D (or whatever your RPG of choice is) is that it is a cooperative game that is playing a story with combat resolved via dice rolls; however, it does not require a DM to moderate. In that respect, you can even play the game solo. Gaming group going to be short a few people? Bring out Mice and Mystics and play. No need to create characters or have someone tell the story. The rulebook creates the means for which the enemies attack and what your goals are. The story book creates the story. It's set up in Chapters, so you can play a little or you can play a lot. There are A LOT of components, so the game isn't too lite, yet the theme is cute enough to use the game as a gateway into the RPG world. Now, in order to get little ones involved they'll need quite a bit of coaching.


Now, last thing to note, just because Mice and Mystics is more or less a stripped down version of an RPG doesn't mean that the game is in any sense particularly easy. Easy to learn? Somewhat. However, someone somewhere said that coop board games should only be fully winnable something like 25% of the time, and while some Chapters of the game are easier than others, some are just plain HARD (as evidenced by all those sideways mice in the pic to the left there).

Definitely a great game with expansions already out to further the story of Collin and the crew.


I give it... a natural 20.

Betrayal At House On The Hill - Board Game Review

I find myself to be a rather interesting individual. Everything with me tends to fall into extremes. I just saw a meme about this...

I'm not sure who to credit for the pic, but it's not mine.

As a child, I needed all of the GI Joes, all of the Smurfs, all of the trolls. I needed to play hockey, watch hockey, play hockey some more, on ice, on the street, in gym. I needed to buy all of the guitar things, watch all the horror movies, all the anime, go to conventions, collect all the comics, go to more conventions, do all the Warcraft all the time, see all the movies (hell, I worked in a movie theater). I needed to read up on all the D&D, write my own backstory. No, I'm not just going to write backstory, I'm going to write a book! I needed to read all the books! and blog about them!

Well, my most recent crush is on board games.

I am just learning now about all these wonderfully complex games that aren't Monopoly or Risk or Sorry or Trouble or Pie in the Face. I started watching Wil Wheaton's show Tabletop, watching the Dice Tower reviews, making a profile on BoardGameGeek.com, and just devouring all things board game.

Enough with the chit-chat, this is a review blog (of sorts).

Betrayal at House on the Hill

I know at some point during my ramblings I must have mentioned my affinity for B horror movies. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Ghoulies. I love all of that stuff.

Betrayal at House on the Hill is a board game that scratches my horror movie itch. It's a quasi-cooperative game for 3 - 6 players. We'll get back to the quasi-coop part in a bit. For those more experienced in board gaming, it has a traitor.

What's up with this game, you ask? Well, you and your friends have come upon a creepy, old house, and decide, "let's go explore that shit! What can go wrong?" (like you do).

Broken rooms, secret passages, bad omens, there are just so many interesting things happening as you go from room to room. You find items, and madmen, and creepy objects, and then the haunt begins, bringing this from a cooperative game to one versus the rest.

You see, someone in the party is a traitor who lured you to the house with nefarious intent, and it is incumbent upon the rest of the party to stop the evil plan or just flat-out escape. A guide in the book details out what the party needs to do to win, with a separate guide for what the traitor needs to do.

Picture snagged from RollTwo.com

Instead of my usual gaming friends, I gave this its inaugural run with some extended family (who have only ventured into board gaming via the usual suspects; Monopoly, et. al.). Mother-in-law, aunts, and uncle gathered around and prepared to embark on some spooky adventure.

It was our first time (though I had knowledge of how to play from (a) reading the rules first (always good to do), and (b) watching Tabletop). The game went mostly smoothly. Hindsight, we made a few blunders, but our second go went better (and allowed me to have my MIL devoured by bloodthirsty bats (Ah, to be the traitor... and win. Sweet, sweet, death to all)).

Final thoughts: This was a ton of fun, to the tune of the Mrs. (who isn't typically into board gaming, nor "fun" things) said she would definitely join in next time. Now to just get that "next time" set up soon!

I give it... Old man Smithers.

The Skull Throne (Demon Cycle #4) by Peter V. Brett - REVIEW

Goodreads synopsis can be found here.
I got to be one of the lucky ones to get an ARC for The Skull Throne, thus shortening my wait to continue the saga (if only by a few weeks).

I haven't reviewed the previous Demon Cycle books. In (not so) short... if you haven't read them, stop reading this, get in the car, drive to your local bookstore, purchase all the books (heck, get two copies and give one set to your friend who also (for some bizarre reason) hasn't read them yet), and get reading. Now. Right now.

FYI: In the US, The Painted Man = The Warded Man

Review: (fear not, no spoiler for the end of The Daylight War mentioned)

Growing up I happened to have quite the collection of Smurfs (as any child of the 80's should be able to confess to). I just loved the Smurfs and the world they inhabited. Gargamel and his insidious plans to capture the little blue guys, Smurfberries, Azrael (all bad guys need some comic relief), the clever naming scheme (good thing mom knew Brainy would be so smart). I had the toys, watched the cartoons, bought the clay kits to make your own Smurfs (though those were never the same as the store-bought ones). I was a Smurfs fan. It was all just Smurfin' Smurftastic.


The cartoon brought a lot of life to how I would play with my ever-growing collection of Smurfs. You see, there was the over-arching plot from the TV show of Gargamel and whatever nefarious deeds he deemed necessary to capture and use the magical miniatures. I would carry that ploy into my playtime, but that was just never enough for me. So, what did I do?  Well, there had to be some additional turmoil in Smurf Village as Brainy looked to remove Papa Smurf from his seat of power. There was backstabbing as the Smurfs vied for the attention of Smurfette or over control of the Smurfberry hoard. Fights and turf wars broke out. Smurfs died (I was a weird kid). But to me, having that extra story, that additional background and motivation for each of the Smurfs served to enhance the overall story of whatever Gargamel was doomed to fail at on the next week's episode.

My gut tells me Peter V. Brett (Pete? Peat?) may have had a similar childhood to mine (at least toy-wise anyway). Maybe not with Smurfs per se (maybe it was GI Joe? He-Man? Transformers? Voltron? Did that too. And brought them all together to take out the Ninja Turtles. But that's besides the point). But the belief that there needs to be more to the world than the basic plot set forth in the earlier novels is clearly evident in The Skull Throne. Hell (or maybe that should be "Night"), the role of demons in this Demon Cycle novel is significantly less prevalent than any of the other books (that's as close to a spoiler as you're going to get from me). So, while this may not be the book you were expecting (isn't life better that way anyway?), it certainly adds quite a lot of flavor to the Demon Cycle world. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll have a bunch of other typical review-mentioned emotions, you'll Smurfin' curse Pete's name (again) (I didn't really mean it Pete, but...  shakes fist).

The Skull Throne amps up the political intrigue and espionage, deep-dives into character development, and demonstrates that the decisions one makes can have lasting repercussions.

Pete takes Smurf Village, turns the mushroom kingdom on its head, dissects it, removes its organs, moves the bits around into new, bizarre formations, and puts it back together in a way that will make the end product something to behold. Book five can't come soon enough.

I give it...  the goblin ball.

City of Stairs (City of Stairs #1) by Robert Jackson Bennett

Synopsis per Goodreads here.

Review:
When I was younger and Richard Trevithick was busy inventing the first railway steam locomotive (ok, maybe not that long ago), I was really into gum. Loved it. Violet Beauregarde had nothing on me. Juicy Fruit, Bubblicious, Bubble Yum, Fruit Stripe, Big League Chew. You name it. I chewed it all (sometimes at the same time). So, one day I am out and about and what I really want is a stick of gum. And alas, there is no gum to be found. Can you imagine it? No. Gum. Anywhere. But. What I did find was a Blowpop. Now, I don't know how you were raised, but where I come from we do not bite our lollipops. That's a big no-no. So, I took the blowpop and I played the patience game. It's like the tootsie pop commercials. How many licks does it take? If you are actually thinking about this as you try to get to the juicy gummy center, that number is infinite! It is eternal. That is not to say the lollipop is not enjoyable in and of itself. Let's face it. It's a lollipop. It's candy. It's delicious. It's just not exactly what I wanted. So. I licked. I sucked. I maybe even nibbled a little. And eventually. Gum.

With City of Stairs I ran into the same problem. I was feeling an epic fantasy kick. I needed some swords and armor and naughty language and blood and maybe a dragon or two. Or three. But I am nothing if not indecisive. I didn't know what to pick up, and City of Stairs happened to be sitting around the house (probably on the dining room table or something - books abound in the house, so long as they stay out of giant schnauzer reach). So, I picked it up and started reading. Urban Fantasy is probably the best way to describe it. Sort of. Maybe. Regardless, it wasn't exactly what I was after. But, I almost never stop reading something. I can only think of 2 books I DNF'ed (and one was primarily because it was due back to the library and I had something else I was waiting for to read). So, I licked. Sucked. The story got going. Hmmm. I maybe even nibbled a little. Sigrud. Oh, Sigrud, you amusing amusing man. Gods and monsters. Gum! In the end I found the book to be rather enjoyable despite my reluctance to pick up a non-epic fantasy. It just took me some getting into, but that was mostly due to my own gum prejudice. But this shows that a good writer can make it so you enjoy the lollipop even when all you want is the gum.

I give it... puny god.

On Firefight (Reckoners #2) by Brandon Sanderson

Goodreads synopsis here.

Note (incase you didn't read the title): This is book two of the Reckoners series. Review for Steelheart (book one) here.

Review:
M. Night Shymalan (I know it's been a while since you read one of my reviews...  stick with me, this will make sense...  maybe). Who doesn't remember that first time they saw The Sixth Sense?  A great slow build-up of a movie.  Then BAM, Shymalan gives you a roundhouse kick to the face with a crazy plot twist (I should totally swap out that picture for Chuck Norris now...  /sigh). How long did you talk about it? How long did the "I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!" last?  And then you bumped into that one friend or relative who didn't see it and you had to bite your tongue. We all have that person who wants to talk about it, but doesn't want to know anything. Or you're watching it again with someone who hasn't seen it yet, and you just kinda keep glancing over at them over and over again, bouncing with excitement, because you have to see their reaction! I just gotta capture the look on his face.  Man, that was fun times.  Kind of like what everyone is doing with Game of Thrones these days.  I watched for people's reactions before it was cool, but then I took a mixed metaphor to the knee.

Anyway.

Appropriate picture is appropriate

A few years pass and he puts out Unbreakable. Bruce Willis, but this time we get some Samuel L. Jackson. He can do no wrong. Snakes on a Plane. FANTASTIC! So. Another slow movie. Crazy twist. Signs. Slow movie. Crazy twist. The Village. Slow movie. Crazy twist. Ok. We get it. Crazy twists.  Lady in the Water. I don't think I stayed awake. The Happening. Didn't bother seeing it. The Last Airbender. Devil. After Earth. I don't think they're even mentioning his name anymore. It's become a stigma. I know what I'm getting in a Shamalamadingdong movie. Not fun anymore.

Steelheart had a total WOAH moment in it (or two). So, my hopes for Firefight was that Sanderson wouldn't use the same tricks again. When you start relying on the same tricks, you become boring. Like when you do your reviews over and over again through some long, obscure, metaphor about how you feel instead of how the book actually is, people may just skip through what you're typing...  ignore that.

There are certainly a few surprises in Firefight, but Sanderson's story isn't one long string of events that have a sole purpose of wowing you with the bright, shiny plot twist. The characters are well developed (even if some of them stay home this time). The new characters are entertaining.  The mythology around the Epics only gets more interesting. Sparks, this is just a fun series. Like early Shyguy movies.  Mmmm. Maybe not right. Like...  Die Hard (Bruce Willis was in The Sixth Sense, so that works...  I said so).

Yeah.  I give this "yippee ki yay, mot*#($&5(*@".

Ah, hell.  I'm posting one anyway.

On "what the hell have you been up to?" - An A to Z post

It's been - several - months since I've posted here. I always have these great plans about writing here, and then life finds a way to distract. So, as part recap of 2014, part what I'm looking forward to in 2015, part journal, part whatever I feel like calling it, I'm posting an A to Z list. We shall call it the What the Hell Have You Been Up To? Or WtHHYBUT? for short.

Arrow
I will be the first to admit that when I heard that Arrow was going to be on CW my first thought was "teeny bopper drama, NEXT." But something (I honestly don't remember what) got me to sit through a few episodes, which turned into binge-watching seasons 1 and 2 and watching season 3 now live.  This is good stuff. They made him a little Batman-ish, but that's not so bad.

Brandon Sanderson
I try to write sometimes. And then I read Brandon Sanderson and feel a complete and utter failure. Man, this guy is good. I was behind so I read both The Way of Kings and Words of Radiance this year (as well as his YA books). Just read his books. All of them. Any of them. But particularly the Starlight Archives books.

Cinemas
Quiet year for the movies for me.  Seen a good number. Just nothing I feel worth talking about too much. Good movies were generally the ones you'd expect from me. The Hobbit, Guardians of the Galaxy, Captain America. I suppose John Wick was an unexpected surprise of a good, fun movie.

Dungeons & Dragons
Nerd card admission time. This is the first time I've ever played D&D. Just never seemed like it would be my thing. A friend in town wanted to start a new game and asked if I'd like to join and I finally just said "why not?" So. Much. Fun. And an excuse to write. I think I've written around 30 pages of backstory for my character. Dwarf Fighter incase you were wondering. And yes, my first act was to go to the bar and get a drink.

Expanse
This gets two nods. 1) Cibola Burn came out (book... number...  four?). And it was one of the best of the series in my opinion. And 2) the TV show starts in 2015 on SyFy. Trailer is out now. Go look it up. Then sit and wait as impatiently as I am.

FOOTBALL!!!!
It needs to be said that way.  Got a few Ravens games on TV up here (I don't live in Baltimore). And they made it to the playoffs, only to lose to Evil Little Bill (as GRRM calls him) and the Pats. /grumble.

Game of Thrones
Continues to be on TV. I continue to watch it. And continue to wait while GRRM does everything but write the next book. I'm not buying that coffee table book. No way I'm supporting him stalling the next book even longer.  I'll think about it after Winds of Winter comes out though. I like big coffee table books.

Hunger Games
I was not a huge fan of the books. Just. Not. Thought the first one was ok. But from there, meh. Not that it was awful. Just wasn't for me. But the movie was good. And then the second movie was really good. I know the first part of the third movie (why do we keep splitting third movies into two?) is out, but I haven't seen it yet.  Looking forward to it though.

I should probably have used H to talk about The Hobbit. Oops.

Joe Abercrombie
Binge-read the First Law books. I don't know why I was so reluctant to read them. I had heard countless recommendations for him. Was already following him on Twitter. Just never felt the urge to pick up the books.  Did. Loved them. Third was my favorite, so worth sticking it out if you haven't read all of them.

Keep moving.

Lawrence, Mark
If I want to cheat and use last names for some and first names for others, I can. It's my blog. Bugger off. No, don't do that. I'm sorry.  Keep reading. (Deckard Cain voice) Stay awhile and listen. So, this was a year of Mark Lawrence. I was rather far behind with his books and read all four in 2014. Prince, King & Emperor of Thorns. Prince of Fools. All good stuff. Thorns if you like the bad guy anti-hero type. Fools if you like the humorous anti-hero type. And the next Fools book is out in 2015, so there's that to look forward to.  Pretty sure I reviewed the Thorns books on here. Not sure I did Fools. SO. FAR. BEHIND. on book reviewing.

Marvel
Yeah. Insert something Marvel did here.  Awesome.  Next.

Netflix
Binge watching TV shows? Check. Weird movies I'd never go to theaters to see? Check. Wasting huge chucks of time in front of the television? Why not? I watched Troll Hunter. Yeah. I don't think I can say anything else. I might be a TV addict. And it'll be worse in April with Daredevil (see M), Game of Thrones, ... ... ...

On to the next one.

Puppy
Got a puppy.  Forgot how much work they are. But he's cute. And he's definitely not a Schnoodle. He's a Giant Schnauzer mix. What's he mixed with? A Standard Poodle. So, a Schnoodle? No. Be quiet you. Maybe a Giant Schnoodle. Speaking of... time to walk said pooch.

Q-Bert
Just because.

Rothfuss, Patrick
While we wait for the third book of the Kingkiller Chronicles. And wait. And wait. And wait. *Looks at watch* Still waiting. Pat has released The Slow Regard of Silent Things. I'm not sure I need to mention this here. The book has been getting much praise. And for good reason. However, it's not for everyone. I just happen to like the playful language. Plot people shouldn't go for it.

Study
So, I am going to take my PMP (Project Management Professional) in 2015 (goal is for June, but we will see). How not bloggy for me to talk about work stuff.  This is supposed to be my escape.  Oh well. So, once I get studying for that you'll likely get some radio silence from me (again). But the bills must be paid, so...  yeah.

Twitter
Jumped on the Twitter thing. Don't use it too often. Follow / reply to people more than I post my own thoughts. Do put up some random comments or word counts or playing with the trending stuff. So, some activity. I use the Twitter under @DougCFisher. Think it might be time to remove the Szever name from this and just call it like it is.  Hi, I'm Doug. And I'm outta heeeeeere.  Maybe someone will get that.  Maybe Szever sticks around and the Doug name gets buried with this post.  We shall see.

U2
2014. The year that U2 clogged our iDevices. Listened to it once. Yup. That's it. I think they apologized for that afterwards.

VNV Nation
A new album out for VNV. Transnational. Typical VNV album. Two or three really strong songs...  Retaliate...  Awesome. Then the rest on the slower end. Not that slow = bad. But, I just love a nice strong beat.

Writing
Very, very, very slowly. Currently at 9,100 words though and the story has barely begun, so shaping up to be something big.

X-Men
Ok, so I saw the latest X-Men installment.  Meh. What I'm really looking forward to are X-Force and Deadpool. Thank you, Fox for FINALLY getting Deadpool going. Took long enough.

Yo Gabba Gabba
Kids are now 5 and 2 (almost 3). I think I've seen every episode of Yo Gabba Gabba 100 times over.  Been watching it since the older one was an infant.  Still going.

Z...  zebras? zoo? zodiac? zero... ZERO!  I got nothing for Z.

Now I know my A, B, C's...

On The Crimson Campaign (The Powder Mage Trilogy #2) by Brian McClellan - REVIEW

Synopsis for The Crimson Campaign can be found here. 

Review:
This is book two of the Powder Mage trilogy. Review for book one (Promise of Blood) can be found here.

When we were kids, our parents would have these ideas. They would have these ideas that they know what is good for us. They would talk to us, maybe we would listen contently, maybe we have a complete and utter melt down of catastrophic proportions. I was a member of the latter response group. I knew what I wanted. I knew what was good for me. I knew me. I wasn't about to listen to what anyone else had to said. Anything they wanted to give me would be unknown and the unknown is scary. And my response to scary was PANIC!

So, one day my parents took me out. We were walking down the lane, watching the passerby's, watching the lights and hearing the sounds. We treaded familiar ground, and I was the happy little kid smiling, running (not too far), jumping about. But, then it happened. Someone had gotten the idea that they knew what I would like. They knew me better than I knew me. And they pointed me in that direction, and the tantrum commenced - stomping, screaming, flailing. I knew what I liked, and if I didn't know it, well, I didn't like it. So, I screamed my tiny little head off. I was not about to go on the Runaway Mine Train at Six Flags Great Adventure.

Now, the runaway train is a roller coaster much like the water from my kitchen sink is a waterfall. I kicked and screamed and put up a fuss, and in the end, it was fun. I learned something about myself... I liked roller coasters (as long as they didn't go upside down). Several years later, and I became one of the older kids still too "scared" to get on a looping coaster (Psh, I'm not scared, I just know I don't like it). This time there wasn't so much kicking and screaming involved, however there were some false starts and delay of games (mixing metaphors a bit, oh well), but after some psyching myself up, I got myself on... I honestly don't remember which coaster it was. But forcing myself into something new caused me to learn a little something about myself. I love roller coasters. I was so set in my "change bad. unknown bad." ways that I might not have learned something new to like.

With Promise of Blood, I was getting myself on the runaway train; something new I hadn't tried - flintlock fantasy with a strong military setting. And I discovered that I like that. With The Crimson Campaign, I have ridden Batman or The Incredible Hulk (pictured - did they rebrand that now that Disney owns Marvel?), and I now love me some flintlock fantasy. McClellan weaves an intricate story of war, religion, and magic. The magic system - gunpowder magic - is interesting and fun as the powder mages deal with common soldiers and more traditional magic users. There is some ambiguity on who is right and wrong, good and bad. There are gods amongst men (I was afraid this wouldn't work - it works here). The pacing is incredibly fast and keeps you sucked in.

I am a little late to the game with McClellan's works. But on the bright side, book three comes out in February - so not too long a wait for me. I wasn't sure I'd be into flintlock / military fantasy. But now I know.

And knowing is half the battle.

On Half a King (Shattered Sea #1) by Joe Abercrombie - REVIEW

Synopsis can be found here.

Review:
I had this friend going up. A best friend. And being another male, we tended to get competitive about things. Thankfully, I suppose, we were both pretty sporty. Though during one tense game of beach volleyball, the taunts going back and forth, I think the two of us had enough. We fought. I didn't mention that he might have been twice my weight. Well, he was. And needless to say I was left with a bloody nose and he was left laughing. Laughing! I was angry. I was frustrated. I needed to do something, but what could I do? Nothing. And so it stewed. And days, weeks, months, years passed. Hockey became the sport du jour. And during an early afternoon roller hockey pick up game, the score never teetering overly far in one direction or the other, sweat dripping, swears and insults flying, I brought the ball up the middle, faked a direction, he bit, I pulled the other way, but he was too far. He reached. And reached. And split his pants down the middle, rear end exposed to the world. Embarrassment. Ah, sweet revenge.

Who doesn't love a good revenge story?

That's not really a good sell of this novel.

Half a King is a revenge story. And I love a good revenge story (I must have said that four or five times already on this blog). But it's more than my petty little revenge of embarrassment for embarrassment (but come on, his pants split! That's comedy gold right there). It is a coming of age story. It is the story about the broken and damaged individuals no one gives a second glance to or expects anything from. It is a story of political intrigue and family drama. It is a story of survival against a known foe, an unknown foe, the elements. It has twists that are both expected and unexpected. It's a fun read and is rather short in terms of fantasy (it's technically YA... I think. Not that there's anything wrong with that). So really, why not give it a try?

The characters in the story are interesting.

You know...  I think I'm just going to stop.


There's little I can say to sell this more than the publisher already put out there. Abercrombie has been blurbed for this novel by George RR Martin, Patrick Rothfuss, Brent Weeks, Robin Hobb, etc. etc. etc. (the fantasy elite). I mean, this is the Justice League of fantasy fiction, in which Abercrombie himself has a seat at the table (Martian Manhunter, maybe?). They say you should read this book. And I don't disagree.

On Promise of Blood (The Powder Mage Trilogy #1) by Brian McClellan - REVIEW

Synopsis can be found here.

Review:

I was hungry one afternoon, as I am almost always hungry, and decided to go out for lunch. After considering the many options, I went with my local Panera. It was crowded, which is not uncommon, and I stared blankly at the menu determining which of the two or three things I eat at Panera I should get that day. When it was my turn, I ordered the 1/2 a Smokehouse Turkey Panini with a 1/2 of a Baked Potato Soup (more or less my usual order). The woman behind the counter took my order and asked "would you like a free cookie with that?" I had to pause and think about this, not because I wasn't sure if I'd want the free cookie, but to consider why she would even need to ask? Am I really going to say "no, I don't want a free cookie. And I also don't like kittens, rainbows and Christopher Walken." I got my free cookie.

With Promise of Blood, Brian McClellan wrote a swords and sorcery Fantasy novel, but gave us a free cookie - gun magic. Yes, I want some free gun magic with my usual.

This is a really strong start to a trilogy that has nonstop action - none of this characters stopping to wax poetic for 50 pages - as the world deals with the overthrow of a king, creepy prophecy, and imminent war. It only took a few pages of Promise of Blood for me to add books two and three to my to read list.

I give it...  "not my gumdrop buttons!"

On The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison - REVIEW

Synopsis (per Goodreads) found here.

Review:

I was a big fan of Law & Order. This is the original version, mind you.  Not that Special Victims Unit stuff that still airs, which is something along the lines of 90% Olivia backstory, 9% other new detective backstory, 0.5% district attorney backstory and 0.5% actual detectives doing case solving / district attorneys doing prosecuting.  But gripes against SVU aside, I was fond of Law & Order.  All that law... and order. Something bad happened. The detectives figured that shtuff out and the district attorneys get those jerks jailed.  I loved the intricacies of case management, the complexity of the law. 

The Goblin Emperor is a murder mystery wrapped in politics with a dash of bildungsroman in the background.  Imagine, if you will, the small council in the Game of Thrones universe.  Now, imagine the entirety of the Game of Thrones story being told from within Point of View within that small council.  The Goblin Emperor is mostly the Order of the Law & Order.  The detective work is more ancillary to the workings of the court and the fallout of the murder and coronation of a goblin emperor (the empire he is emperoring is mostly elves). 

What really drew me to The Goblin Emperor were the blurbs - specifically:

"Challenging, intriguing, and unique. If court intrigue is your wine of choice, The Goblin Emperor is the headiest vintage I've come across in years." - Scott Lynch

"This is a beautifully told story, and has cost me much needed sleep these past few nights. (And I'm not just saying that because, as we all know, goblins are awesome!) The Goblin Emperor made me remember why I fell in love with the fantasy genre." - Jim C. Hines

And it wasn't so much what they said, as much as it was who said it. 

I've lost touch with my allegory.  Have a bit of a cold.  Thinking is hard.

I think Scott Lynch said it well. If court intrigue is your thing, then this would definitely be for you. The diction is beautiful, the characters relatable, and the story intriguing. Personally... I like Order...  I just like a little more Law with it.  I give it... Lincoln (without the vampire hunting).

On Cibola Burn (Expanse #4) by James SA Corey - REVIEW

Synopisis (per Goodreads) found here.  

Review:

This is #4 of the Expanse novels by James SA Corey (my review for #3 here - blog didn't exist for me to review #'s 1 and 2).  You can read Cibola Burn without having read the predecessors, but I wouldn't recommend it (the series is good stuff - read it). 

Everyone has their own "the mall." Generally it's a localized event and when one person says to another "I'm going to the mall," the other person knows they mean Menlo Park, not Freehold or Woodbridge. We hung out there as kids, shop there as adults, use it as a distraction as parents.  It's comfortable.  Sure maybe the Disney store relocates, but all we need is a sign that says "moved to the upper level near Nordstroms" and we know what it means - no map necessary.  And maybe we stop for an Auntie Ann pretzel on the way.

Now, I am generally not a science fiction guy (for the most part - my Goodreads library shows generally 4:1 in favor of Fantasy). Sure, I'll read the odd Star Wars novel (more based on the author than anything else), and I'll watch the Star Wars and (new) Star Trek movies (was never a Trekkie - nor have I watched Firefly - I probably shouldn't admit to that). But, the Expanse novels have become "the mall" for me; my go-to sci-fi read.  Science Fiction I'm comfortable with. And though each of Corey's novels have some changes - some new characters and a new cross-genre - Holden and the crew of the Rocinante are comfortable now (must be how Trekkies started to get attached to Piccard or who have you - I'm not starting that better Captain debate).

I mentioned "new cross-genre" in terms of a relocation of store (or perhaps what would be more apropos would be connection to a new store. Something within a familiar landscape, but in itself is new and exciting). You see, within each of the Expanse novels, Corey sets the story against some non-traditional sci-fi genre archetypes. Leviathan Wakes touched on horror. Caliban's War was heavy into politics. Abaddon's Gate was more traditional science fiction. Cibola Burn - well, here's our science fiction Western.

Like the other Expanse novels, Cibola Burn is at a break-neck pace, and I maintain that this series is the most movie-ready series out there (though it has been picked up by SyFy to be a television series - perhaps we'll get a blockbuster movie or so out of it anyway).

I'm realizing there is very little "review" in this review. If you're a fan of big-budget action/adventure movies - read these books (even if sci-fi isn't necessarily your thing).

I give it...  Han shot first.

On Ancillary Justice (Imperial Radch #1) by Ann Leckie - REVIEW

Synopsis (per Goodreads) (I know I said I wasn't posting these anymore, but I need to here):

On a remote, icy planet, the soldier known as Breq is drawing closer to completing her quest.

Breq is both more than she seems and less than she was.  Years ago, she was the Justice of Toren -- a colossal starship with an artificial intelligence linking thousands of corpse soldiers in the service of the Radch, the empire that conquered the galaxy.

An act of treachery has ripped it all away, leaving her with only one fragile human body.  And only one purpose -- to revenge herself on Anaander Mianaai, many-bodied, nearly immortal Lord of the Radch.  

Review:

Who really enjoyed getting their hair cut?  I don't mean back when you're small enough to ride the haircut Batmobile.  When you outgrow that, but your you're still young enough that parents decide you need a haircut.  Ain't nobody got time for that!  There's games that need playing and tv that needs watching and food that needs eating.  No, no one wants to get their hair cut.  However, my barber (and likely many barbers) did have something kids like.  CANDY.  Namely, DumDum Pops.  Everyone must have had these at some point in their lives.  Small, sweet, delicious lollipops.  And the bag comes with a variety of flavors.

One of these flavors...  The Mystery Flavor.

You must have seen this before, no?  They come with the purple question mark wrapper (pictured to the left).  The candy itself is white so as to not give away what the mystery flavor could possibly be (by the way, the "mystery flavor" is really just a combination of two flavors that is created when the manufacture cycle of one flavor being made ends and a new flavor cycle begins - per Mental Floss).  The Mystery Flavor was tasty, but did you take it?  Did it matter to you that you couldn't put your finger on what it could be? Did you just stick with what you knew?

The protagonist of Ancillary Justice (both the Justice of Toren and Breq) is/was a massive starship.  As Breq, the ship's AI is confined in one final body, however, "years ago" (and it means YEARS ago) when it was a starship it had thousands of bodies.  What does this have to do with DumDums?  Breq (let's just stick with Breq for now) has some SERIOUS gender identification issues.  To the point where more-or-less every character is referred to in the feminine.  Sometimes it is countered when another character corrects Breq, and sometimes Breq does and sometimes Breq doesn't continue referring to the character as "she." So, as you try to picture the characters, every character is a mystery flavor.  Is it a female?  Is it a male?  Does it matter?  If you enjoyed the Mystery Flavor, maybe it works for you.  I, personally, like having a solid mental image of the characters in the story, and the constant back and forth of gender is a little confusing/aggravating for me.  I tend to pick Butterscotch.

However, Ancillary Justice has won the following awards (per Wikipedia...  yes, that's a real source):
Kitschies Golden Tentacle (best debut novel of 2013)
Arthur C. Clarke Award (best science fiction novel of the year)
British Science Fiction Association Award (best novel of the year)
Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America Award (best novel of the year)
It was also nominated for the following:
Write-In for Best Book of 2013 for the Goodreads Choice Awards
Shortlisted for the Phillip K. Dick Award (distinguished original science fiction)
Tiptree Award Honor List (science fiction / fantasy that expands / explores understanding of gender)
Finalist of Compton Crook Award (best science fiction/fantasy/horror)
Nominee for Hugo Award (best novel)
(Love this from Jim C. Hines' review of the book: "I'm pretty sure it was also a Nebula finalist, tied for an Oscar, and won this year's Super Bowl.")

How do you ignore that?  I put aside my gripe, pictured (mostly) everyone as female (probably not the right response), and decided to embrace the mystery.

And what did I discover?  I have the wrong lollipop.  This isn't a DumDum at all.  It's a Tootsie Pop.  A book that takes... the world may never know how many licks...  to get to the juicy, delicious tootsie roll center.  It's a slow burn from the beginning between the development of both Bresq and Justice of Toren, setting the stage for the inevitable betrayal, introduction of Seivarden, and getting the characters the equipment and to the location they need for the final showdown.  I was ready to rate this a Goodreads 3 stars - an I liked it, but it wasn't anything great - and then the last 50+ pages showed me the tootsie roll center (I gave it a Goodreads 4 stars).  I had licked my way to the payoff, and it was good.  The reveal/climax was clever and well-paced.  The perfect little treat hidden within the depths of the slower sugary coating.

Enough with the lollipop metaphors...

From what I've read, this is the first in a trilogy of books.  As such, it will likely have the most world-building of the series that needs to be done.  And this is a big, dense, well-developed world(s) (we are in space after all).  There is a conclusion here, but it leaves just enough outstanding that you have to wonder what will happen next.  And I'm ready to see what sweet candy Ann Leckie gives us next.

I give it...  Howard Beale.

On Prince of Fools (The Red Queen's War #1) by Mark Lawrence - REVIEW

For the synopsis (per Goodreads) go here (decided I'm not typing those out anymore). 

Review:

Everything made perfect sense when we were children.  Your sister wanted to take your toy (or maybe she was just standing where you didn't want her to), so you gave her a little shove, and when she went crying to mom you did what any four year old knows is the only option.  You run.  You hide.  (I know my tenses are messed up, but that sounds better than "you ran, you hid" and I'm not making money off this stuff so grammar be damned). Mom would NEVER notice the bulging curtains with feet sticking out, or the fact that the throw blanket on the couch was now on the floor in a giant, giggling pile.  It just made sense.  As trouble was coming, you forgot about the honor that is admitting your faults and accepting your punishment, and you got out of its way.

Some of us never outgrow this.  Case in point, Jalan Kendeth, our next Point of View through the Broken Empire.  Those of you that have read Lawrence's other works - The Broken Empire trilogy following the murderous rampage of Jorg Ancrath (reviews here, here and here), will find something new here in a familiar setting (along with some cameos by some familiar characters).  Those of you who haven't read The Broken Empire trilogy...  what have you been doing with yourselves besides missing out on good reads?  Incase you are wondering, yes, you can read Prince of Fools without having read The Broken Empire, but having read those books adds to the experience.  And though this is written EVERYWHERE anyone talks of this book - Jalan is not Jorg.  Though this book has some dark undercurrents, it is much more lighthearted (not entirely sure that's the right word, but you get the idea) than the gut-wrenching journey Jorg led us through.

Prince of Fools follows Prince Jalan of the Red March as he and an unlikely companion, the viking Snorri ver Snagason (fantasy needed a good dose of viking...  thanks, Mark), deal with magics they don't fully understand in a quest for escape/revenge (depending on your point of view).  It is a tale of a budding friendship, a tale of a revenge, and a tale of growing up (or not).  It is both dark and humorous, both sentimental and hard-hearted, both new and familiar.

I'm not feeling incredibly verbose today, so I'll end with "read it" (4/5 on Goodreads) and give it: Kiss-My-Anthia

On The Way of Kings and Words of Radiance (The Stormlight Archive 1 & 2) by Brandon Sanderson - REVIEWS

Synopsis (per Goodreads) (synopsis is for Book 1):

Roshar is a world of stone and storms. Uncanny tempests of incredible power sweep across the rocky terrain so frequently that they have shaped ecology and civilization alike. Animals hide in shells, trees pull in branches, and grass retracts into the soiless ground. Cities are built only where the topography offers shelter.

It has been centuries since the fall of the ten consecrated orders known as the Knights Radiant, but their Shardblades and Shardplate remain: mystical swords and suits of armor that transform ordinary men into near-invincible warriors. Men trade kingdoms for Shardblades. Wars were fought for them, and won by them.

One such war rages on a ruined landscape called the Shattered Plains. There, Kaladin, who traded his medical apprenticeship for a spear to protect his little brother, has been reduced to slavery. In a war that makes no sense, where ten armies fight separately against a single foe, he struggles to save his men and to fathom the leaders who consider them expendable.

Review:

I love cheeseburgers. Going out back and barbecuing some meat to a nice medium well, throw on some cheese, maybe grilled onions, some ketchup. Pop it all on a warmed bun. Delicious.  I'm rather fond of making these myself, but will also run over to the local White Rose System (local burgerish dinerish sorta place) and grab a lunch special over there (with cheese) (and they put the onions in the burger).  I just love a good cheeseburger.  

Now, there are cheeseburgers, and there are CHEESEBURGERS.  Good example of the latter...  Bobby's Burger Palace.  You can get a cheeseburger there, and some typical variations of the cheeseburger (cheddar? Sure. Barbecue sauce? Why not?), but to borrow some culinary terminology from a competitor celebrity chef, the burgers are kicked up a notch with some fancy shmancy combinations (Brunch Burger with a fried egg, smoked bacon and American cheese? And crunchify it with potato chips? Yes, please!).  They also run a Burger of the Month (this month is a Napa Valley Burger with goat cheese, Meyer lemon honey mustard and watercress).  These are burgers taken to a whole new level, and my are they delicious.

The Stormlight Archive books are the "kicked up" burgers of the fantasy world.  In the beginning, with The Way of Kings, it does take some time to read through several points of view through several time periods.  But not far in it all just clicks.  Brandon Sanderson has built a remarkable world where everything is new and different - the environment, the wildlife, the interaction between humans and nature, between humans and non-humans.  The books touch on societal hierarchy, slavery, war.  They are emotional, humorous, and mystical.  I honestly, don't even want to type much on it, because I want you to stop reading this post and go out and buy these books.  Goodreads 5/5. 

On Honor Among Thieves by James S.A. Corey - REVIEW

Synopsis (per Goodreads):

When the Empire threatens the galaxy's new hope, will Han, Luke, and Leia become its last chance?

When the mission is to extract a high-level rebel spy from the very heart of the Empire, Leia Organa knows the best man for the job is Han Solo - something the Princess and the smuggler can finally agree on.  After all, for a guy who broke into an Imperial cell block and helped destroy the Death Star, the assignment sounds simple enough.

But when Han locates the brash rebel agent, Scarlet Hark, she's determined to stay behind enemy lines.  A pirate plans to steal a cache of stolen secrets that the Empire would destroy entire worlds to protect - including the planet where Leia is currently meeting with rebel sympathizers.  Scarlet wants to track down the thief and steal the bounty herself, and Han has no choice but to go along if he's to keep everyone involved from getting themselves killed.  From teeming city streets to a lethal jungle to a trap-filled alien temple, Han, Chewbacca, Leia, and their daring new comrade confront one ambush, double-cross, and firestorm after another as they try to keep crucial intel out of Imperial hands.  

But even with the crack support of Luke Skywalker's X-Wing squadron, the Alliance heroes may be hopelessly outgunned in their final battle for the highest stakes: the power to liberate the galaxy from the tyranny or ensure the Empire's reign of darkness forever.  

Review:

November 23, 2004.  The date that World of Warcraft was unleashed upon the public.  I purchased my copy that day and immediately created my Nightelf something-or-other (it doesn't really matter, that toon didn't last too long).  The game was new and exciting; a well-polished, well-populated Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game.  Then Blizzcon 2005, Blizzard announces the first expansion - The Burning Crusade.  Excitement and fear flood as the expansion looks to add a ton of new content, new races, blah blah blah.

Expansion.  There's something about expansion that's on one hand, thrilling, exciting, oh-my-god-when-is-this-going-to-be-released-already-I-need-it-now-ing.  But on the other hand can fill a person with dread, anxiety, nerve-wracking-oh-my-god-what-if-they-f-up-my-game-ing.  Maybe the expansion takes what was great about the game and betters it.  Or maybe the expansion adds pandas.

I was never one to delve into the Expanded Universe (EU).  Sure, I picked up the Timothy Zahn series' that take place after Return of the Jedi (I had read enough reviews and gotten recommendations to get me past the fear of expansion ruining my game).  But, when EU novels take place, say, between A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back...  What can the stakes be?  The best part about reading, say, GRRM is that no one is safe.  But if I'm reading a novel staged between two existing bodies of work, what's really the threat for Han, Chewie, and the rest?  Aside from the knowledge that your main cast is safe from death by stormtrooper, when a weapon appears that can destroy the Empire and/or will allow the Empire to crush the rebellion, well, that can't happen, right?  A) the Empire and Rebellion both exist in Empire Strikes Back, and B) said weapon is never mentioned again in the series.  So, EUs were never for me.

However; a Star Wars book by an author I've already read and thoroughly enjoyed? (I'm just sticking with calling James SA Corey an author, it's way too annoying to keep attempting to refer to him as them - James SA Corey is actually two authors if you didn't know - and they write The Expanse series of sci-fi novels (review here)).  Well, that intrigued me enough to jump back into the Star Wars EU.

James SA Corey writes popcorn novels.  Novels that can EASILY be translated into big budget action movies.  Everything is fast paced and action packed and all those other cliché movie phrases; awesome.  Honor Among Thieves is no different, and on top of that, its focus is everyone's favorite cynical smuggler, Han (did you really need me to write "Han" there?).  Corey NAILS the relationship between Han and Chewie, and the dialogue is perfect.  On top of that, he gives Han more depth than we get from him on screen.  We get some reflection on himself, on the rebellion.  And while it's nothing that is in character for him from what we see during the movies, it still makes sense for him.  It flows.  It fits.  It's a perfect expansion.

I give it...  Auri (a character from Patrick Rothfuss' Name of the Wind (Kingkiller Chronicles) books - who, per Pat, was not in his first draft of the novel, but, per me, the novels wouldn't be the same without her - perfect expansion).  That was a convoluted sentence.  Hopefully it made sense.